Egocentric Masturbation

I had an unexpected and touching response to my foul mouthed outpouring of painfully honest truth the other day. Unexpected in that it came from someone who I have met only a few times but who barely knows me. Unexpected in that the email made me cry and laugh at the same time. I cried like a baby because what he said showed me that although he does not know me particularly well, for some reason, he genuinely cared. For some reason, he was touched by my brutal honesty. Touched enough to come out of his shell and send me a long and deep email. When we first met, we had an involved conversation about how I came to art. Apparently, that conversation affected him so much that he told my story many times to people that he knew in an effort to inspire them. He felt inspired to once again start making art.

He made me laugh because he came up with this hilarious term, egocentric masturbation. I can’t define it better than he does so I’m gonna quote him “Usually, I don’t bother read people’s shit as usually its full of egocentric masturbation. Sometimes people are trying to talk about how intelligent they are or how important their thoughts are regarding some crap or other. Thankfully, for my sanity, your’s wasn’t.” There, thats some egocentric masturbation for you. I inspired someone, pretty major material I think.

So after much trepidation, I am glad that I spilled my guts so to speak. It felt good and I feel better. For those that have expressed concern, I am not going to kill myself any time soon. There is no danger of self harm. every now and then, when things are getting hard, it is good and healthy to have a gut spilling session, in whatever way suits you. Publicly like me or privately to friends. everyone has their cross to bear. Everyone falls down. It is not the falling down that count’s it is the getting up. So I am continuing to fight my personal and professional wars. Everything in life, all the shit, as well as all the good stuff enriches and adds to it. Frida Kahlo used all of her guts, everything in her to produce interesting, beautiful, surreal art which served as punctuation points in her short and interesting life. Hopefully my guts will serve the same purpose. Real and true. So the game continues.